What type of FI trader are you?

We all love football, we all have an opinion, and we all have different trading strategies on Football Index. So, with tongue-in-cheek, which type of FI trader do you fit best?

1. Steady Eddy

You popped a tenner in 12 months ago to check FI wasn't a scam. After seeing the platform grow, you thought it was time to top up and see what can come of your investments. Forget transfer hype and summer bonuses, your money is in a select few who you're happy to hold for as long as possible. No FOMO buys, no IS sells. When shit hits the fan after every FI announcement, you're the level-head telling everyone to refrain from panic selling and to think about how wealthy we'll all be in three years time. A portfolio that's far from exotic, but it's in the green and we'd all be in a tizzy if it weren't for Steady Eddy calming the community.

2. Slick Rick

You're not everyone's favourite trader in the group by any stretch, but that doesn't take away from your successes. You're a wheeler-dealer, flipping between spreads, picking up some rogue foreign league punts the day before they bag a hat-trick, then saying 'told you so'. High-risk, short-term profits. The occasional pump of a less obvious player can get slated, but you're not that bothered given your portfolio's profit. You do fall on your face every now and again, and ME can give you both barrels when flipping between spreads - no one wants to be stuck with a 32 year old Italian sat on the bench with no IS. Questionable sustainability, but it's worked for you so far despite the criticism from most of the community.

3. Naive Nigel

'Hi Guys, I'm new to FI. Who's good to buy?'

Welcome to the pump fest, Nigel. Your faith in humanity is high, but your trading strategy has room for improvement. Perhaps think about your budget - do you want more shares in cheaper players or fewer shares in more expensive. Your risk management is important - do you want to diversify your portfolio between dividend winners and capital appreciation? Media, PB or IPDs? Different leagues, ages, positions? Or perhaps your intentions on trading need defining, do you want to check every day and be flipping intra-spread or would you rather chuck a hundred quid in and revisit it next month? Asking for advice is recommended, but asking 'who's good?' will give you a hundred pumps and one of them could be Slick Rick's dodgy Italian benchwarmer. Wisen up and you'll love the platform, Nige! Do some research, ask for specifics and you'll soon be in the profit!

4. Fuck-this Freddie

You enjoy Fantasy Football and have watched Wolf of Wall Street - that's enough education to start your FI journey. You came in gung-ho and dropped a grand on Werner upon confirmation of his move to Chelsea, only to realise the market moves in ways you'd not predicted. After getting locked up with Matching Engine's spreads and then expecting a 100% rise in dividends through summer, you were feeling terribly bitter about your experience. Listening to Steady Eddy telling you everything will be alright wasn't resolving your current loss, it's only been throwing fuel on the fire. You've announced twice that you're leaving the Facebook Trader Group and your last 5 tweets have been calling out Adam Cole to give you your money back.

'Fuck this, I'm cashing out every penny as soon as the new season starts'. They've ruined everything.

Alas, 100% dividends came good at the end of summer. Your comms look somewhat childish in hindsight, but you'll take a prideful stance that it was your harassing complaints that made FI change the dividend structure. Fuck this, I'm staying right here. All or nothing, Freddie.

5. Victor the Veteran

You were an early adopter, and a few of your trades from the early days have seen some huge capital appreciation, including a few shares in Sancho at 900% growth. You're in true profit and can happily say that FI is a great platform given the green numbers on your dashboard. That said, the last 6 months have been a different story and your old strategies are looking a little less successful since the introduction of the Matching Engine. On top of that, your stomach is turning at the thought of any due diligence on FI's side. Your profit is sat there, ready to cash-out, but you could do without the hassle having heard the horror stories on twitter. You're not depositing, nor withdrawing, you're trying to stay under the radar, it's stalemate.

6. Tool-User Paul

Ice cold with very little emotion in your trading strategy. Leave everything to the numbers. You spend more time on Index Gain than actually watching football. You don't hold any of your favourite club's players - they simply don't cut it. Your other half questions why a suspicious number of premium subscriptions are on your monthly bank statement; she doesn't understand the harmless beauty of data. Hobbies include spreadsheeting. All these hours in the depths of a database have provided profits, albeit similar margins in recent weeks as Slick Rick, who knows nothing about base scores or xA. Wonderkids are rarely on your radar; until they've posted 200+ PB scores you don't care. TAA has paid for this year's holiday, during which you spend a couple of hours a day flicking through Slack. The numbers never stop.

7. West Ham Sam

Trialled for West Ham twelve years ago, meaning you know every wonderkid emerging out of London and beyond. Plenty of managing experience on both FIFA and FM warrants acknowledgement. Capital Appreciation is your game. Every Dutch player under 21 years old that's listed on the Index is in your port. You've got a mate, who's got a mate, who's a youth coach at Fulham - he obviously knows a few top talents. You've just gotta wait for them to IPO. Your hours on Scout Nation's channel on YouTube have so far yielded 10% ROI, which is respectable given your port is pretty new and you're in it for the long run. Perhaps that'll be 100% when these players start to actually play first team football? You've got a four figure portfolio which has so far returned £10 in dividends, of which Sancho has won £9.84. Trust the process.

8. No Hope Norman

You've been on the platform for 6 months. You still don't know what the academy page is, and insist Lewis Dunk and Callum Wilson still have the scope to be England's poster boy next World Cup. You bought Cavani from the market hoping for a move to the MLS - 'just think of the goals he'll score over there!'. You also topped up in your better holds after goals in the FA Cup final, then turned to twitter to passive-aggressively infer that FI were scamming you for not paying out IPDs. Read the rules, Norman. Then check who the real fool is. It's perhaps excusable if you're new, but if you've been on the platform for over a week, then you should understand PB eligibility. Thankfully you're only betting with a few notes and not your pension pot.

9. Bottom-End Ben

'Why should I get 1 share in Mbappé when I can have 10 shares in Ings?'.

Well, Ben, it's a market built on supply and demand. There's usually a reason as to why Mbappé is as expensive as he is. Of course, bargains are to be had in the lower end of the market, but building a portfolio solely of lower end punts has never been riskier. Try selling back to the market at a profit. You'll likely receive a fraction of the dividends compared to the premium purchases, and the lower liquidity down there means you'll be holding for a lot longer than you really want. You'll find the occasional bargain in the bottom end that sees some delightful cap-app that you can flip at a tidy profit. The issue is that right now, if you were to IS your port, your crucial green number would soon look red. Think about diversifying Ben, you'll more likely turn a profit and enjoy trading more if you broaden your horizons from outside of the squad list.

10. Harrison High-Roller

The squad list is dirt to you. Capital appreciation from wonderkids is too time consuming, whilst you think PB data isn't as important as many others think. Just lump on the absolute top end, take the dividends and enjoy the winnings at your vineyard in Dordogne. Not many have the luxury of onboarding a minimum 300 shares a piece in the Top 20 players on the index, but your portfolio flexes all of the top media stars and young PB winners. You're pretty much backing the platform's future rather than the players'. The football is an after thought. Money first, football second. You just want FI to succeed and keep paying out the cash dividends, and dread the thought of the average trader being able to crash the market through panic selling. You're just glad Steady Eddy is always on hand to calm Fuck-It Freddie when FI scramble, whilst Victor the Veteran hopelessly guides No Hope Norman to the academy page.

Who do you relate to the most then? Be sure to check us out on instagram @footballindexgurus and visit regularly to read more of our articles... they're often far more insightful than this!

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